With the proliferation of devices and apps and platforms, parents are understandably very concerned about the effects of gaming on their children. Craig Verdal-Austin, Headmaster of Somerset College Preparatory School in Somerset West, believes it is important to educate and empower parents around the pros, cons, and best-practice ground rules.

“The screen time debate has raged since our own parents told us we’d need glasses from sitting too close to the TV. It escalated once video games entered the scene and is a whole freakin' thing in the smartphone era. But is it as bad as all that?” asked a post recently on The Dad, a Facebook community. The post went on to reference the recent results of the Adolescent Brain Cognitive Development (ABCD) Study, the largest long-term study of brain development and child health in Canada.

The study analysed brain scans from thousands of school-age kids and found that those who gamed for three or more hours per day performed better with impulse control and memory tests.

“That may well be,” says Verdal-Austin, “but the effects were clear - and concerning - when our students returned to school after lockdown, when gaming had been their only way to socialise and many parents, understanding this, possibly relaxed their rules.” Verdal-Austin said the manifestations of increased gaming were clear - children wanted darkened classrooms, they didn’t want to go out to break, devices were open while teaching was happening, and some children were covertly gaming in class…

“It was noticed across all schools, and while manageable, it was concerning,” he says. Parents are also clearly concerned - at a recent online safety webinar, held by Somerset College Preparatory, 50 out of 70 parents in the grade attended.

Here to stay

“We can’t get rid of gaming,” Verdal-Austin acknowledges, “but we need to manage it.”

He highlights the fact that from Grade 5 to Grade 9, children feel an urgency around belonging and identity. “A lot of boys find it through the competition of sport. Girls, too, but for them it’s more through friendship groups. Gaming has become the way many children socialise and also how they gain esteem. When it comes to gaming and managing the age-appropriate need for belonging in this context, we can put our device policy in place, we can review and tighten it, but we need to get the parents back in the room too.”

There are social and, the ABCD study seems to show that there are also cognitive, memory and impulse-control benefits to gaming. However, as Claire Peters, Head of the Student Development Unit (SDU) of Somerset College, points out, the new study does not look at wellbeing and numerous, previous studies have linked video gaming to behaviour issues and even mental health problems.

The ABCD researchers do emphasise that their findings are not a reason for parents to allow their children to spend unlimited time on devices. As with so many things, says Verdal-Austin, moderation is key. “There are a lot of positives around gaming, but it’s all about balance. And it’s important to establish the rules around that balance as early as possible - and that means while children are at primary school.”

How to establish the ground rules

Verdal-Austin recommends a simple agreement between parents and children. “Social pressure is real. Belonging is massive. I don’t recommend banning all device use at home, as it has become a social currency, and their greatest fear is social exclusion. But as parents we can manage it.”

Knowledge is power, and Verdal-Austin recommends parents read all the latest research, without trying to back one position or another, but to inform themselves.Establish a trusting relationship around gaming. “We want open relationships with our children, we want them to come to us with a problem. As parents, having done our research, we should then put ground rules in place, and trust our children,” he says.Draw up a simple contract, agreeing to hours of game time which ensure that your children have a well-balanced life with time for school, homework, family, friends, community, outdoor exercise and gaming.Talk about the dangers of gaming with anyone unknown to your children. Make playing only with their own friends another rule.Discuss age restrictions and confirm stance. Sometimes the recommended age is just that. Agree that in such cases, your child will visit review sites, such as https://www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews, do research and then motivate why they should be allowed to play the game. (This will teach negotiation skills.) Agree to what the consequences will be if the rules are exceeded, or if marks go down, if homework and chores aren’t completed or if behaviour issues (such as bad language or rudeness) raise their head.Remember to emphasise why you’re doing this. “We love you.

We accept that devices are part of your world today. Learning to use them responsibly and keeping a balance is part of your education.”Learn about their favourite game so you can discuss it with them. Even better, learn to play it. Previous generations bonded over sport or ballet or art. We still do that, but now there’s gaming. If you think of it as e-sport, don’t you want to be able to applaud your child when they do well, or cheer them on in the activity they love playing? This will also compound the trust you build around the whole issue of gaming. “Consider,” says Verdal-Austin, “who their role models will be without you there to model good digital citizenship.”

“Parents of children in primary school still have a great deal of control. Implementing boundaries for a teenager is far more difficult. Get the ground rules in place early and life will be so much easier later on,” says Verdal-Austin. “We’re all trying to raise well-balanced, happy children. So make BALANCE your watch word, in all things.”

Even the pro-gaming post on The Dad concludes with the following words: “According to one of the most important parental resources -common freaking sense- excessive screen time is not a good plan either. While [the ABCD Study] IS the biggest study to date, and it DOES suggest video games are not the evil some fear-mongers will rant about, there is far more research on the overwhelming benefits of physical exercise. Life is about balance. So make sure you and your kid mix in a few walks in between rounds of duos in Fortnite.”